Archive for the ‘Reports’ Category

REPORT: Killed a Nerubian, recovered Tremaine and Antinua((OOC reference- ‘Scruffy Man’ is Martin Tantrill, ‘Prissy Pallerdin Lady’ is Kaide, and ‘Antiwotsit’ and all variations thereof is Antinua. ‘Vice’ is Vyysce.))


Organized by Caleigh North, led by NO FUCKING ONE, participants: Fair, Vice, Ashtivar Whiteoak, some scruffy man, some prissy pallerdin, Caleigh just sort o left us to do it ourselves since we’re so good at shit and shit.

Injuries sustained- Scruffy man broke his leg, Anti-whatsit got stabbed, everyone generally bruised and bumped but no one died this time so that’s nice.

Summoned to SI:7 again, this time by Miss North. She wanted us to go up north again, see what we could make of Anti-whatsit and some other woman who got taken so okay. Vice and I led the way to the pit, then erryone jumped down and I took on the cat’s shape to sniff about, caught wind of two humanoids wot weren’t us so we trekked into this dank ol cave thang an then there wos a corpse oerhead so the prissy pallerdin hit it with a shield an it was all webbed and shit.

Inside wos bones from a blood elf, thought fer a minute it was probably Tremaine but it wasn’t. Then suddenly a web dropped down and I took the Bear’s shape and wos too fat fer it to pull up proper-like, specially since Vice grabbed my legs and was hanging on and then someone fockin set the web on fire so the Nerubian let go and I fell and rolled us into the water and then Vice and I wos webbed together. So the Vice threw me at the focker and the web broke and I missed the Nerubian and hit the scruffy man instead, pretty sure that’s when his leg broke.

Prissy paladin lady hit him with Light-shit, Scruffy hit him with bullets, Fair tried to put holes in him with arrows, Vice threw things like the paladin lady, and I took the Cat’s shape again. We beat the fucker good, though we sustained some injuries ourselves, and then chucked him in the water and he drowned.

There were web stuffs along his body so we dragged it ashore and started opening em up and a horde of wee spiders came and tried to ett me. I drowned ‘em and Vice tried to help and it just ended up with an ass-ton o spiders in the lake and it was gross.

One of the pouches had a sack of dead seagulls, another had Tremaine who was poisoned. I did m’green magics to purge the toxins from him and there was another focker in there with a hat and he was a ghost or something, ran right through the wall and we ne’er seen him again. There were some more bones and then Scruffy got annoyed and stabbed into the last one and lo, it was Anti-wotsit.

So I did m’mendin’ shit on her an nearly lost her seeing as we wos underground in the middle of a starless night surrounded by undeath everywhere so kiss my arse. Anyway, she lived, errything went black. Was alive when I woke up so I figure everything’s good now.


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REPORT: Lorgus Jett takes down Quinny, probably some other people who don’t really matter; possibly dies

About two, three weeks ago; current date is 9/2

Led by Tremaine, participants Quinny ‘Chuckles’ Avenyve, Vice, Ashtivar Whiteoak

Injuries sustained- Whiteoak was bruised up and prematurely aged, though the effects seem to have been temporary. Tremaine was missing, presumed dead. Quinny fallen in battle; body recovered and mended, still dead. Anti-somethin’ missing, presumed dead.

Permanent damages occurred.

Was summoned to SI:7 by way of note, as I often am when I’m needed. Got there and it was people I didn’t know, excepting Chuckles. This Tremaine fellow showed up and was all, ‘hey your leaders are all gone and shit and the Legion’s going to be in deep shit if you don’t do something’. So we all went to this run down hobo camp out in Redridge and rummaged through a shit-ton of armor and weaponry and such until Tremaine found this stunted wee whelp in the back and then got his dumb arse chased all the way to the town hall by some big dumb protodrake.

Then we went to Northrend with a magic paper and Vice got balloons.

We made our way to this big pit underneath Ice Crown Citadel, where we found two figures- Lorgus Jett and Anti-whatsit, some draenei bint. Turns out Jett wasn’t really a person, he was somethin’ else all along just using some poor bastard named Lorgus Jett’s body to fuck with the twilight cultists for whatever end, make ‘em do shit for him, who fockin’ knows.

Anyway, Tremaine was all saying words and shit, and then Jett did some creepy invisible hand chokey shit to the draenei lady and chucked her down a hole. We all tried to kill Jett, which was more or less a dismal failure as Tremaine got chucked down the hole. He tried to chuck me down a hole too, but I’m a Witch so fuck him I have feathers.

We fought the focker till he turned into a big green rock piece of shit, and he was all ‘wooo lookit me I move real fast’ and really handed our arses to us on a gold plate pretty as you please. We were doin’ alright up until he crouched down with this big ol’ shield of whatever the fuck and started makin’ ‘em blue runes he does, the ones that turn shit to dust. Vice managed to huck a sword into the bubble and it pierced through, even had the focker stabbed a bit. I tried to go over the runes in my bird form and help wedge the sword in deeper but then I got old as fockin bones and I had to stop before I withered and died.

Then Quinny showed up with that stupid lookin’ bronze whelp and started waving it at the runes but that didn’t do shit- including turn to dust. The whelp waddled all derp-like at Vice and then Vice used it as a hat and charged into the runes and didn’t die and started punching Jett’s bubble and then the runes almost had us and we were gonna get old and die real fast-like and then suddenly they was gone and Jett was all impaled and punched and shit and he started glowin and rattlin fit to kersplode

Then he jumped on Quinny and exploded.

It tossed me and Vice back a bit, then Vice got all fretsome and told me to fix Chuckles but Chuckles was dead, really really dead and her body was all charred and black and shit. All that was left of Jett was a glowin green rock, which I still have.

I ain’t a witch that can call back souls, it’s not something I know how to do, but for a soul to be called back the body ought to be ready, so I did the best I could and told Vice he’d have to take us home. Mending in a pit of undeath with no sun, not even stars, no plants nearby- wasn’t easy. She’s still dead, though, for all her body looks like a body.

Vice took us home, I don’t remember at that point seeing as how I was out cold.

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Don’t remember when. A month or two back.

Led by Caleigh North Kriss, participants Ashtivar Whiteoak, Torgian, Fugue, Samili ‘Muffinlady’ Sorensen, Nate ‘the Great’ Natsby, Caleigh’s husband, some other fuckers

Injuries sustained- Caleigh got choked, some of us got hit with shadow shit, I had to fight Caleigh’s dumbfuck husband for some damn reason; we almost ditched Muffinlady but it turns out someone grabbed her, she was knocked out or some shit.

As witnessed by Ashtivar Whiteoak:

Shit I thought I did this ages ago. Fucking parrot never made it back to Stormwind, original report’s probably in something’s belly.

We arrived at the launch point and I was asked to do a quick overhead scan to see what was up, I saw the man we were supposed to be killing run into this temple thing so I reported back; miss North floated all of us so we could move silently over the water, and we went down the steps into the temple where we encountered a shadow specter in the water and miss Sorensen went missing. The mages did some finger-wiggly shit and fixed the shadow thing right good after I nearly got drowned, haha stupid thing didn’t even know I could be a sea bear, point one for Whiteoak yeee-awww

Torgian went back to try to find Sorenson and I waited, the others went on ahead and encountered a trap at the base of some stairs by the time Torgian and I caught up. Some sort of step-plate thing that’ll fuck your day right up; fortunately, didn’t really do much damage so we continued on until we found what’s his fuck, Lorgus Jett.

Caleigh kept the robe-wearin’ folk and her husband toward the back, put Natsby, myself, and that other fucker front-wise. Jett was goin’ on about some shit and started spewing shadow shit, Kriss went nuts and tried to kill Caleigh, we stopped him, took some good blows at Jett to little effect. Natsby distinguished himself like he always does, this time by throwing some sort of box at Jett and it seemed to rile him up some, was real well done. Torgian and Fugue did finger wigglin’ shit. Beer is great.

Then Jett vanished sayin’ something about how we all suck and didn’t really seem to be impacted much, there was some shadow shit crawling across the floor that destroyed everything it touched, just turned it right to dust- damndest thing- one of the mages threw up a portal and we all got the shit out of there.

Caleigh done pretty good, we all mighta died without her leadin’; it was her idea to prevent the most easily damaged members of the group from getting killed by Jett being a douchebag, was her idea to protal the fuck outta there, was well done. No one died but we almost forgot dippy mcMuffinmaker, was Torgian that grabbed her I think. I don’t know.

Fucking parrot. Need more beer.

Oh yeah Chuckles was there and did some shit.

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The following is penned in remarkably precise, if grumpy, penmanship. Two copies, one delivered to the mailbox of Shalaara, the other to Tia Lansing.

Late evening into early morning, the sixteenth day of the third month; three quarters moon.

Led by Hector Grimbane, participants Ashtivr Whiteoak, Khadros, Juhla, Jolane Silveroak, Quinny ‘Chuckles’ Avenyse, and Markin Quickfix.

Injuries sustained-Markin Quickfix took damage to his left leg in the initial investigation, Juhla was sat on; the secondary investigation led to an explosion which destroyed a building in Caer Darrow, the results of which were severe damage to Hector Grimbane and an inconvenient shoulder wound to Ashtivar Whiteoak. Full recovery of all parties is anticipated.

As witnessed by Ashtivar Whiteoak:

Contacted by Tia Lansing to join a group of Legion members in dealing with one of the handful of issues that has taken second seat to other matters. She gathered us before the Flightmaster and miss Juhla was asked to select a task for us. She chose to pay tribute to Uther’s tomb, a task which Miss Lansing was unable to illuminate the meaning of for us. We left en masse and made our way North, where we spoke to a Kaldorei priest, groundskeeper. We offered our aid and he told us they had been experiencing a problem with restless spirits, and asked if we could help.

We made our way to the indicated position and encountered non-hostile, non-responsive spirits hovering the grave site. One in particular was standing by a grave, so we approached. Several attempts were made to garner its attention, but it wasn’t until miss Jolane spoke that it responded, warning us to leave now and pushing us back. I attempted to plant a flower, but it spat the seed back. Markin jumped forward and began to dig.

The spirit possessed me and I tried to eat him; it was at this point that he sustained damage to his leg. He uncovered something in his efforts, and the spirit left me and possessed Juhla. Chuckles quickly tackled her to the ground and kept her pinned, unable to act against us. Someone made Light explode the thing that Markin had uncovered, and the spirits abruptly stopped and went away.

We reported back to the Kaldorei, and told him what we’d found. He asked that we investigate Caer Darrow, where the man buried with the newly destroyed artifact had been found.

Several of our number had to split off at that point, leaving us with Jolane, Hector, myself, and Khadros. Khadros took off ahead and there was a terrible explosion. A body went flying and a mysterious orb appeared. Hector pocketed it and we went to investigate; it appeared to be a cultist, in similar rainments to the ones we’ve faced before, shot in the head. I retrieved Khadros’ gun and we went to continue on, when something alerted us to a presence on the ramparts. We set Jolane to keep watch and investigated.

Hector and I found a man and gave chase, eventually cornering him in a basement. I pinned him as a bear and Hector cut off his arm, then he exploded.

I went to check on Jolane and a minute later, Khadros and Hector were running out shouting for us to move, so we moved. We were mostly out of Caer Darrow when the explosion happened. Hector tossed Jolane out of the way of a rock and nearly got smooshed, I took a shard of stone to the shoulder, and Khadros didn’t get hit at all.

Apparently, there were a great number of those orbs beneath the grate in the basement where the cultist exploded, and they somehow became activated, destroying the building. We can surmise that these orbs were intended for destructive use, and posit that perhaps our somewhat fumbled actions in the area might be a setback for cultist activity.

We reported back to the groundskeeper and went our separate ways

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((From Kinza’s perspective here ))

Date: Ninth day of the third month

Involved Parties: Argentum Legion, Silver Bastion, Embersea Accord

Incident, as reported by Odynae ‘Dyna’ Dawnhammer: I was leaving the Cathedral when I happened to check the mail. It was there I found a note from one Ashthra Anderson, a previous associate of mine presumed dead approximately a year ago. The letter was brief and said only that Diane Marviere, a close friend of mine, was in trouble and that I needed to find her.

Due to the dubious nature of the alarm, I went cautious and took Newt out for a few circles over the city before expanding my search to include outlying regions. I did not expect to find anything and thus did not call for aid, as it seemed something more akin to a joke in poor taste than anything else.

This conclusion was incorrect. I caught sight of a Forsaken brutallizing miss Marviere on an outcropping in a small lake just north of the city. Even as I lowered Newt, the undead was pulling out her innards. I flung myself from Newt’s back to put a stop to it immediately, and pinned a spear through his ribs. In return, he shot me in the face. He gave me slight warning in the drawing of the pistol and I was able to subvert some of the damage, but my aegis was only half formed, and the bullet still tore part of my cheek off and severed the tendons of my jaw, rendering me unable to speak properly. At some point, in a fit of desperation, he threw miss Marviere’s plucked out eyeball at me, which exploded into acid.

I used the Light and my weapon to subdue him, and ended him with a boot to the head.

Shortly after, Anderson appeared, having also been at the task of tracking miss Marviere. His status as ‘dead’ was somewhat exagerrated. He utilized a surgeon’s abilities to stabilize miss Marviere, as well as a substantial number of health potions applied systematically via needle to keep her from expiring on the spot.

The damage was severe. Miss Marviere was robbed of an eye, had some of her organs pulled out, much of her skin appeared to have been cunningly peeled off, and her hands were nailed through to the ground. In addition, her left knee was left with a knife plunged between the kneecap and bone.

I called Fugue to aid through the telepathic use of a rune stone, but was unable to report to the Bastion who were inquiring as to my whereabouts until I was able to convey to him to inform them that we were heading to the barracks with an injurred party. I apologize for any undue concern my jawless babblings may have caused.

I was injurred only in the damage of my jaw and the acid to my face, and was nominally functional. Fugue helped me to transport miss Marviere to the Bastion’s headquarters, where miss Kinza brought her from ‘barely alive’ to ‘stable’. Mahlar Dewfall and miss Anna, a friend of his, helped to replace miss Marviere’s eye with one that Ashthra Anderson provided from his own self. The surgery seems to have been a success. Fugue sent another member of the Argentum Legion to help us mend, and miss Neraa was able to salvage my jaw, which now functions perfectly well, though leaves something to be desired when seen. Kannifler helped to bandage my jaw in place until there was time to see to it.

Miss Marviere remains stable and is currently housed in the barracks, where I was keeping a close eye on her. However, urgent duty calls me elsewhere, and I am entrusting her watch to the 47th. She has been directed to remain off her legs and still for a bit while the mending sets.

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